Council Complaints
Council Complaints. To help you to forget your everyday problems and read how others put their thoughts into words...these are genuine extracts from council complaint letters.
1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
3. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle, very badly, when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
6. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off
8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it, yesterday, and now she is pregnant.
11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.
13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.
14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
15. Will you please send a man to look at my water; it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
16. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.
17. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.
18. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
19. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.
20. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
21. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.
22. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times, but I still have no satisfaction.
23. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2
:rofl:
I used to work in the local council and that's exactly the stuff you used to giggle over in your lunch hour!!
Re: Council Complaints
Council Complaints. To help you to forget your everyday problems and read how others put their thoughts into words...these are genuine extracts from council complaint letters.
1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.I think you need a beautician love!!!
2. He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.Lucky you!!! That must be one PERFECT dh
3. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.take it with water!!
4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.Go see the guy in # 2
5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle, very badly, when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.how the eff did he do that???
6. And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.wow
7. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them offLay of the beans love
8. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?just a little nearer
9. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.I'm sorry the sink will have to write himself due to data protection
10. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it, yesterday, and now she is pregnant.Wow might have to try tripping in the garden then
11. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.I would recommend closing the blinds or curtains first
12. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.150% thats quite remarkable
13. I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.did you not have this problem in the old ones??
14. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.erm.. trying putting them in the bath instead
15. Will you please send a man to look at my water; it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.please see your GP
16. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.can you show me how this is possible
17. I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.tell him the affair is over
18. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.your lucky my neighbour is a fat alcoholic who sleeps on the garden bench
19. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.I really don't know how to answer that, maybe try dtd in the bedroom instead of on the kitchen floor?!!?!?!
20. I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.Tell him to get off and shut up!!
21. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.buy her a vibrator
22. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times, but I still have no satisfaction.try it on the desk instead
23. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2wow an ariel toilet seat - where do you get them from?!?!