Counsilling
Has anyone had counsilling following a miscarriage?? Did you find it helpful? I had an ectopic pregnancy earlier this year and am really struggling. I've got two pregnant friends, one of which is due the same time I would have been :-( i'm not coping well. My place of work offer counselling for any employee with an independent counsillor should they need it, i'm thinking of taking them up on it. Love Sharon x x

I have not had councelling in the circumstances you mention but I feel it certainly couldn't hurt to try. If you are feeling that you would benefit from talking it through with someone and working through it, then go for it. If it doesn't work you are no worse off than today, I have had a couple of things happen in my life that now with hindsight I should have dealt with better at the time and so I guess that is what is making me encourage you to try it and see. Good luck! Jen x

i would def take them up on it. it cant do any harm really and i know that if i couldnt talk to you guys or my OH i would have perhaps gone to see a counsellor. Tilly x

I agree, going to speak to someone would be a good thing. I was actually thinking this morning that we are not offered any after care at all after having a m/c - the hospitals handle the physical side of things and then send you on your way to deal with the emotional trauma yourself. My dad is a huge influence in my life and is a major supporter of pma (positive mental attitude) and after my miscarriage he was such a huge help to me in coming to terms with it. I think everyone needs someone to talk to intensely about what we've been through and if you are struggling then i think going to see the councellor (sp!) can only do you good. x

I had counselling following my loss in December and found it really helpful. I did however have to pay privately and found mine through recommendation. If you speak to a complete stranger it can be easier than talking to loved ones as I always find I don't want to upset them. All the best. Rosetta x

Thanks, i'm going to see an independent counsellor on Wednesday, work are paying for me so it's worth a go x x

Hi Sharon, I would definitely take up the offer of counselling. It will help to chat with someone other than your husband who may be quite raw about it too. Do your friends know what happened to you? I only ask cos one of my friends struggled to get pregnant and was open about attempting IVF but they didn't get as far as they wanted as eggs were not suitable. When I announced my first pregnancy she shut down a little and stopped telling me things and I found it difficult to talk to her. Now, we have become even more distanced after having my second little boy, I never know whether to talk to her about it or not so it just gets left. We hardly see each other now and its a shame. Your friends may feel a little awkward and just for you to let them know its ok to talk to you about it may help you and you too may be able to help them. You have a lovely little boy already and can offer your friends so much in advice and a listening ear, they may be able to do the same for you too but are just waiting for the nod. Good luck. b

Hi B Yes both my friends know i'm trying again post ectopic and understand what happened to me, in fact one came to see me in hospital. They're both really supportive and don't get me wrong I talk to them about their pregnancies regularly (I am jealous though I must admit). They both also know i'm going to see a counsellor, i'd rather be honest with them. It's hard though at times, I have good and bad days, loosing a baby is the hardest thing ever. Hence my thought on getting some help. I'm doing my best to try and avoid antidepressants. Josh is really happy at the new nursery by the way x x

If counselling is on offer than Sharon I would take it. Like you say, try to avoid antid's at all costs, espcially as I don't know what effect they have if you fell pregnant. Good luck with it all, hope it all works out for you. Glad that Josh is enjoying his new nursery, I presume the other one didn't chase you for payment. Ryan starts pre-school for 5 mornings in September (was previously doing 3 mornings and 1 morning at nursery). Nursery day finished at the end of July and they were sad to see him leave. I need to apply for schools in November and am dreading the whole process cos I hear so many bad stories. My friend was telling him that Greenhill pre-school where her little girl is going in September, was oversubscribed by 3 kids (20 places and 23 applied all with siblings at the school), they ended up with names in a hat on the advice of Ofsted!! Do you know if next year is a big school year or do you not have that info in your Department? b

Thanks B. It's not my department sorry, you would need to speak to admissions, if you phone 0161 253 5000 the switchboard will be able to put you through. I can find out the agreed intake at each school for you but not numbers in the cohort sorry. No the old nursery Manager didn't chase my money, infact she didn't even respond to my letter. I saw her in the B&Q warehouse the other weekend, she nearly said hello to me until she saw Josh and realised who's Mum I was lol. I did tell the Foundation Stage Adviser exactly what has gone on and she has informed Early Years so hopefully nothing like that will happen to another child. Hope Ryan enjoys his 5 mornings at preschool in September. Thanks for your reply before, following that i've phoned one of my friends for a natter (the one who's due the same time I would have been). She's a really close friend I have been there for her 100% but if i'm completely honest I haven't seen/spoke to her quite as much as I probably would have done if I hadn't been through what i've been through. I need to snap out of it, good friends are hard to come by. Will let you know how the counselling goes x x