The fertility sister has believed me that this time AF is definitely here, so I am counting today as CD2 and starting 100mg Clomid tonight. I'm so relieved that AF has finally arrived properly and we can hopefully head towards IUI this cycle! Now I just have to look forward to all the side-effects of Clomid once again - but spurred on by Blogger 3's brilliant news, I am prepared to go through a lot to achieve that elusive BFP so will try to handle it well this month. Next scan is booked for CD11, on Wed 16 July. Blogger1 x

The side-effects of 100mg Clomid weren't too bad this month - just some hot flushes during the night and early part of the mornings, and one night I cried myself to sleep for no reason! Had my day 11 scan today. I had a feeling I was slightly 'forward' in my cycle compared with normal (I normally ovulate around day 17), because I had been having some ovary twinges and a bit more CM than usual (which might partly be down to the cough medicine I've been taking to counteract the 'drying' effect of Clomid). Anyway, the scan showed that my endometrium is thick and I have three follicles on my left ovary, the largest of which is 16x14mm. One other follicle is just a teeny bit smaller, and the third is quite a lot smaller. So there is some hope of two eggs being released this month! We're to 'try' (the clinic's word for BDing!) tonight if we want (DTD last night so not essential) and then abstain, and I'm to have another scan on Friday. If eggs have matured a bit more on Friday, we will have IUI on either Saturday or Sunday morning! The bad news is that we had plans to be away from the weekend, so I have booked my Friday scan for the morning, and will have to think of an excuse to go up later on Saturday (if IUI is Sat am) or come back early on Sun (if IUI is Sun am). DH is a bit cross about that, and I'm disappointed at ruining a nice weekend that we have planned, and messing with plans with our guests. But above all I'm excited! I'm not going to tell DH that two follicles are looking promising, because he has a huge fear of having twins (do you think that's naughty of me?). Given that there's only a 15% chance of the IUI being successful, I figure twins is fairly unlikely - if one of those eggs is fertilised it will be a little miracle, given that we have been trying for 20 months! Anyway, I will let you know how the scan goes on Friday. Fingers crossed that everything progresses normally and IUI actually happens this month! Blogger1 x

IUI tomorrow - WOOHOO!
Yes, it's good news! Follicles are ripening: one is 10x17, one is 19x16 and one is 14x11, so it's looking good for one or two eggs being released in the next 24-72 hours (not telling DH there is a chance of twins...). IUI is booked for tomorrow morning! I know IUI only carries a 15% success rate, and I had promised myself that I would be calm and not get any more excited this month than any other, but I can't help wondering whether I really might get to be a Mummy soon! On the downside though, a colleague announced her pregnancy yesterday. She got married in the same month as me (July 2 years ago) so I really feel that other colleagues will be wondering why not me. When DH came home last night and I told him, he just hugged me for ages, knowing I was upset but trying to be brave! We had a good chat about how we want children but will be ok without, but just have to keep trying (for the next 10 years!) but without letting it take over our lives (somehow). Anyway, I've phoned our friends, who we were spending the weekend with, and invented an emergency dental appointment tomorrow morning - we will travel up to them as soon as we're finished at the clinic. However, the clinic is really busy - lots of ripe eggs this weekend in Birmingham for some reason! So we may be in for quite a wait (will take books and muesli bars). I will update you early next week - next scan booked for Tuesday, to determine whether I've 'popped'. Blogger1 x

Well, the IUI was fine! DH went off to a room and produced his sample (jizzed into a pot, he he), and then we were sent away for an hour, then I was taken to a room and it really was just like a smear. The nurse lady said my cervix was nice and straight (what a strange sort of compliment!) and it was very quickly over and I had to lie down for 15 mins before getting up and going. On the way back to the car DH said how reassuring it was that the other couples that were there looked very normal - not like the sort of people you'd imagine would have problems conceiving. Made us both feel better! We then had a lovely weekend, and I even managed to persuade DH to DTD in the normal fashion as well. If we are lucky enough to conceive this month I kinda like the idea of not knowing for sure whether it was the IUI or not. Having said that, I can't help but feel optimistic. I know the success rate of IUI isn't that high, but it just feels more likely this month. I must keep my sense of perspective and not get too hopeful! I have a scan this lunchtime, to check that an egg (or more - eek) has been released. All being well I should then have a blood -*test*-('") early next week - at least that breaks up the 2WW so I will know after the blood -*test*-('") whether the ovulation was viable. I am impatient this month! Will update later on the outcome of the scan. Blogger1 x

The scan showed I ovulated, and it looks like both follicles popped so there have been two eggs mingling with DH's swimmers - scary! I described the stomach cramps I'd been having on Sunday and Monday, and with the look of my ovaries on the scan (follicles are smaller, misshapen and blurry) it all points to the IUI having happened at the right time, ie during the weekend - the pains will have been as a result of the fluid released when I ovulated. Blood -*test*-('") on Monday. I feel so confident that my progesterone score will be above 30 - silly me. Must keep a sense of perspective. Both fertility sisters were there today at my scan (because one was at the desk - they weren't both looking) and they were so nice, and wished me luck. It sounds really silly, but it occurred to me that if (WHEN) I get pregnant and past the first few weeks I will not be seeing them any more, and that made me sad. I've spent quite a lot of time in their room over the last 9 months - albeit much of it with my legs akimbo and a dildo cam! Silly me. Blogger1 x :2ww: :hoping4+:

Had my day 21 blood -*test*-('") and my result was in the 90s - 93 or 98 - can't remember which but it doesn't matter - a good result! However, I have had AF cramps constantly for the last two days, so am expecting the witch to get me any time - I'm knicker-checking like crazy. When I got my bloods back, I checked with the fertility sister whether I should start taking 100mg Clomid from day 2 as normal this month. She replied yes, but as the two fertility sisters are taking lots of holiday in August (they both work part-time anyway), they would probably not be able to do the scans this month and therefore IUI would not be an option this time round. Well - I've been thinking. In theory I only have 4 rounds of Clomid left, two of which can be with IUI. Given that there's no guarantee that my body will behave itself each month and actually produce a good follicle or two that are suitable for IUI, I'm inclined to have a month off Clomid, and then I will still have four chances left with Clomid to get IUI in two of them. If that makes sense? DH agrees with me. The decision is strengthened by the fact that DH and I will be in Paris for the weekend on 16-17 August, and sod's law says that this would be exactly the time I would need IUI (if the nurses could do the scans). We are willing to change almost any plans, but this weekend away with friends has been booked for months and has cost us quite a bit of money, so we would rather miss a month than cancel the holiday or waste a Clomid cycle. Anyway, I will let you know when the inevitable happens and the witch gets me... Blogger1 xx

Still no witch - but I did a -*test*-('") this morning (first ever!) and got a :bfn: Hoping she arrives quickly because it's going to be a long time until our next IUI cycle if we skip a month, and the sooner AF arrives the sooner we can have our next try! Blogger1 x

Why us?
Lisa's post today has made me think... Why can't I get pregnant? Negatives * I have PCOS * My luteal phase is quite short (normally 11-12 days) * I am 32 (will be 33 in November) and DH is 34 (will be 35 in November) so we're not as young as we might be * My job has been very busy/stressful for the past few months Positives * I have regular AF (26-30 days) * I am in the average weight band for my height * I am in good health: go to the gym, eat healthily * DH has excellent swimmers * We are not too old * I ovulate reliably on 100mg Clomid (and ovulate sometimes on own) * My tubes are clear * The lady who did my first IUI said my cervix was nice and straight (!) * Despite having PCOS, my ovaries are normally not polycystic: most months they do the right thing! * We are financially secure, really want a child / children and think we could make good parents Due to my PCOS we expected it to take a little longer, and for us to need some help, but the positives clearly by far outweigh the negatives!! So why has it not happened for us?? It has been 20 months!! Blogger 1 x :sad1:

Thanks guys for your lovely messages on the other thread! I'm on CD18 now, and when I ovulate it's by CD17, so once again I'm in the 2WW. Even though I'm on a Clomid-free cycle, I thing we do have a small chance this month, as (TMI alert!) I've had really good CM including EWCM, and have had ovary twinges the last couple of days, and am currently experiencing proper pains in my right ovary region. The pains I'm having now are just the same as I have been having just after ovulation while on Clomid (well, slightly milder if I'm honest), caused by fluid that is released from the follicle when the egg is released. So while I've not been scanned and won't be having a blood -*test*-('") to confirm ovulation, I reckon my body has at least tried to do the right thing this month. And we've given it our best shot!! For those that want to know when AF is due, I've decided I will do the HPT on Thursday 4 September, in the absence of any AF symptoms prior to that day. Don't get excited - though there is no harm in being hopeful! :2ww: :afnotallowed: Blogger 1 x

Well, looking back to my last posting, I don't know where all that PMA came from! AF arrived unofficially last Friday with a bit of spotting, and I'm not really convinced that she's fully here now, though I decided to count Tuesday as CD1. I'm worried that, having put a bit of weight on (and I mean a bit - only 2lbs!) it has made my PCOS body misbehave again... grrr. I have been eating healthily the last two days so am hoping it triggers a good AF and the Clomid does the rest! I think I'll be having my next scan next Friday, CD11. I don't feel particularly optimistic this month - I've got the 'here we go again' feeling. This is our 22nd month TTC, 9th round of Clomid (of 12 on NHS) and (mature eggs permitting) 2nd round of IUI (of 3 on NHS). At least the rest of my life is good at the moment - DH has got a lovely new job, we've almost finished redecorating the bathroom, and we're off on holiday in 2 weeks and a day. Got to focus on the good things... Blogger 1 x

I had my CD11 scan on Friday, which showed that I'm progressing well this month: one follicle of 13x9mm on left ovary, and one of 9mm on right ovary. Had second scan yesterday (CD14) and had made great progress: left ovary was now 17x15, and right ovary was 11x9. Today we had our second go at IUI. DH went in at 9.30, and then I went at 11.30. It was fine - just a bit uncomfortable like a smear. We were both calm and straightforward about it - we're professionals at this now :( Anyway, FINGERS CROSSED! I'm going to jump on DH tomorrow night, just to take the 'belt and braces' approach, as I have a small worry that today was too early for the IUI and tomorrow would have been better. I ought to trust the specialists, but you always think you know best! I have a scan booked for Friday lunchtime, to check that I've ovulated, but because we're off on holiday after that for a week, I'm not going to be able to have a CD21 (or 7dpo) blood -*test*-('"), as the fertility sister thinks it will be too late to leave it until the Monday after holiday. The holiday is going to be so relaxing. We're staying in a property with some friends, and generally not doing much. My main challenge will be not to drink too much, because at these types of holidays the booze tends to flow every evening. The problem with IUI is that you just can't help being more hopeful than usual. I need to find a balance between PMA and realistic expectations! Blogger 1 xx

Well, after my IUI on Tuesday morning, I just had a few small tummy twinges on Wed, but then on Thursdsay evening had my 'usual' (on Clomid anyway) cramping feelings which are a sign of fluid being released after the egg has popped. I'm a bit anxious that it was more than 48 hours after the IUI, and mentioned it during my scan today (which showed, as expected, that the follicles have collapsed, suggesting ovulation). The fertility sister explained that the pain could happen a day or longer after ovulation, and so the timing should still be fine. I hope she's right - I just have this nagging doubt that we did it too early this month, grr! However, I did leap on DH on Thursday morning so we gave our chances a boost that way. The best thing is that we're off on holiday now, for a week. Should take my mind off the 2WW apart from the fact that a friend who is going on holiday with us (there is a large group of us) is definitely pregnant, though not announcing it yet. I'm happy for her, but I don't know when they'll make the announcement, so I have to be prepared, all week, for that moment (though it could of course happen after the holiday - no idea how far gone she is). Oh well, maybe it will be our turn this time... AF (or better news) expected by 3rd October. Blogger 1 xx

Back from my holiday. We had a really relaxing time. Lots of walking, reading, cooking nice meals, gentle socialising with friends. I'm feeling like AF is just around the corner though, as I've been having AF type pains yesterday and this morning. So don't get your hopes up for me too much! I will update when she finally makes her appearance.... Blogger 1 x

Well, after several days of mild cramps, I started spotting on Wednesday, and yesterday :afarrived: I feel ok because the cramping warned me she was on her way - that and the fact that I nearly burst into tears when I got the bill for the car service - it could only have been PMT! I sound so cheerful! I think I just feel numb about it all. I'm so used to AF arriving that after 22 months of TTC (inc 9 cycles of Clomid and two of IUI) it comes as no surprise. I'd probably drop dead of a heart attack if I actually got a BFP! Can I just say, though, how lovely it was to come back from work to find some lovely messages from some of you (esp Scooby the ringleader!) wishing me well for this month. You're so fab - I don't know how I would cope without you all! A sad moment just happened... when I told DH that I had to send a message on this forum and disappoint you all with the news of AF arriving, he was just all quiet, and a bit distant when I asked for a hug. He's finding this hard... Better go - it's the evening of CD2, so time to take some Clomid... Blogger 1 x

Well, I've finished taking my Clomid, and am on the cough medicine, ready for BDing and hopefully IUI next week. Suddenly I've started to worry about what happens if Clomid and IUI don't work for me. I expected TTC to take longer for us, but I was (perhaps stupidly) hopeful that with a bit of assistance we would get there. Now I am feeling like I'm in the last chance saloon - one more cycle of IUI, three of Clomid... then what??? I phoned the fertility sister to arrange my scan (next Tuesday, CD13), and she said that she'd need to start making the next step towards me being referred. She checked where I live and said I would be referred to the Birmingham Women's Hospital. I don't know if I'm being referred to have a course of IVF on the NHS, or to have more investigations, or being referred to a private facility! I didn't ask any questions - I will save that for next week's scan. I'm also aware that I've not seen a consultant for a year - the fertility sisters just do the ovarian tracking, speak to the consultant themselves to decide that I should be on Clomid etc. Each time I have a consultant appointment coming up, the fertility sister cancels it and puts me down for a later one. We have one booked for 28 October but don't know if we're going. Up until now I've been fairly patient - accepting the arrival of AF, going for scans, taking IUI in my stride - but now I suddenly feel that time is running out. I'm scared!! Blogger 1 x