:update: Well it still hurts....I think it's slightly better but it's still OUCH!!!! Have tried the rugby hold position to see if that helps but makes no difference. Think I will get my midwife to have a look when she visits on Tuesday. My next question is how on earth do you cope with the sleepless nights and constant feeding when BF? I have tried expressing so that DH can feed her at 10pm so that I'm in bed by 7pm but he always ends up waking me up because she won't settle and needs extra milk - gggrrr!! So I usually end up putting her on the breast for half an hour or so to satisfy her. Feeds take an absolute age - she needs about half an hour on each side to satisfy her so that eats into my 'sleeping time' when she's feeding 3 hourly. I'm just so exhausted and ended up in tears about it last night (well early hours this morning) when I was feeding her at stupid o'clock for an hour and then she still wouldn't settle!! She'd be permamently latched on if she had her way! I'm so tempted to resort to bottle feeding because I know she'd feed far quicker and it would be over and done with! I bottle fed Bethany so all this BFing is a total new experience for me! Thanks x

Hi Sarah She will prob start to space out a bit soon as she gets a bit bigger Darcy has. Totally understand what you mean though with those on your knees please give me a break first couple of weeks. Stick with it you are doing so so well. When she feeds after about 15 - 20 mins or so is she still swallowing? I only ask because Darcy wanted to feed for hours to and it turns out she was just comfort feeding. However if I delatched her she went absolutely ballistic!!!!! I have ended up giving her a dummy because otherwise she would breast feed for prob 20 out of 24 hrs! (monkey) It hasnt interferred with breast feeding and she is much better at it now. Could be wong but seem to remember my MW also saying that after 20 mins or so the breast is pretty much empty so and would not be getting much milk anyway?? HTH take care well done you. Mel xxx :rainbowsmile:

Hi Mel My MW said much the same thing - that after 20-30 mins she should have emptied the breast so to delatch her if the swallowing had slowed down. She's still swallowing at 20 mins but by 30 she has usually slowed down and appears to be comfort sucking so I delatch her. We've also started to use a dummy because the MWS suggested she was a sucky baby! DD too would be more than happy to stay at the breast 20 hours or so a day!! I let her stay on each breast for a max of 30 mins - and she seems satisfied (ish) after that. How old is Darcy now and how long do her feeds typically last?

Aw Sarah, it is hard in the first few weeks. I cant remember that far back, but once we got into a pattern, Jess seemed quite a quick feeder and the whole thing was done in half an hour. I used to feed on one side per feed, and that way she would get the hind milk, like the cream off the milk LOL and then she would be full up. I remember asking the nurse in the hospital, when she said initially to feed every two hours in the day, I said is that timed from the end of the last feed, she said oh no, the beginning! And I think in the beginning it was taking an hour!!! I was devastated!! I thought how the heck am I ever going to get any sleep! It must be hard, do you have anyone who can take Bethany for a few hours in the day to give you a break, so you can sleep when Charlotte sleeps? You are doing fab honey, shes still not even two weeks old. xxxx

DH fed her at 10pm last night via expressed milk - took two hours to settle her after that! She then slept until my alarm went off at 2.30am to feed her. She fed for an hour and then straight back off to sleep until 7am this morning when I had to wake her to feed again. No problems with the sleeping! I have several worries about BFing and I've been in tears since yesterday. Firstly, the length of the feeds. As I said before, she needs an hour to be satisifed (half hour on both sides) but that means there is no way I am going to get DD to pre-school on time in the mornings! Secondly, the pain. Not only latching on but also the stinging in the breast after each feed - wears off about 10 mins later so I can cope with that. Thirdly and finally - latching on. Sometimes she goes straight on without any problem yet other times (like this morning) she was on and off constantly for half an hour and we both got very frustrated. She'd stay on for a few seconds and then push herself off. Grrrr!!! That just adds even longer to the time of the feed!! Eventually got her on properly at 7.50am!! I'm going to look into getting some breastfeeding support from somewhere because I think unless I do, I am going to snap and give up! Thanks for all your support girls, really appreciated. x

Oh Sarah what a pain (literally!) Darcy is now 8 weeks and she is def speeding up the time she feeds for she is much better at it. Unfortunately like Charlotte she still messes me around sometimes coming on and off constantly very annoying but it is usually at the end of the feed now when she wants to comfort suck and not anymore milk. She will latch on the push away really hard ooouuuccchh! This mornings feed lasted 20 mins 10 on each side. I to have the school and preschool rund to deal with although not this week yippeeee!!!! I usually feed her at 7ish then put her down (sometimes bit cross) untill we leave for school at 8,45. Drop DD#1 at school then off to preschool which starts at 9.30 I am there by five past so feed her again in the car park. Took her a week but she is used to this routine and dosn't object anymore. The pain will subside as you establish more of a rountine and you boobs and charlotte get used to feeding at certain times. Not long now till you look back at this time and think how quickly it went and how you love breastfeeding and are so glad you stuck with it hon. I hit that at about 3-4 weeks. Hope this helps always here if you need a chat. Take care and give yourself a huge pat on the back for doing so well. Mel xxx :rainbowsmile:

Thanks Mel - that really helps. I can't believe how well organised you are with three children!! The 10am feed went well this morning. She took 25 mins and was zonked so I put her down in her moses basket at 10.45 and she's still asleep now. She's certainly settling better for daytime naps and also at night. I'm only waking her once at night now (or rather early morning) which helps - was previously 3 hourly on MW advice but HV suggested otherwise. I will wake her soon for another feed and then I'm hoping to go out into town to do a few bits...it will be the first time I've take both of them out on my own!! Yikes! Eldest DD is on half term this week which is quite good timing as it gives me another week to try and get some form of organisation! Unfortunately DH hasn't had any time off work due to being self employed but he is going to take Friday off this week which will be nice :-) My sister BF her eldest for 3 weeks and then gave up because she said it just didn't get any better - worries me slightly! She managed 10 days with her second. I'd like to stick it out for 4 weeks because then I feel as if I've given it a good shot - just hope I can stick it out! Thanks again x

aw well done hon. Sounds like it is very slowly getting better. Def get some support from the local La Leche league if you can, and I think a target of four weeks is a good one, if you want to really give it a good try. Its so hard sometimes in the heat of the moment to want to give up, when in the long term thats not what you want. Having said that, you are just doing fab having a go. HUGS xxxx

Hi Sarah, sorry to hear things haven't got much better for you.. did you call any of the numbers on the link I posted last week? You should be able to get someone out to help you or to help you find a breastfeeding clinic. If you can get past this first few weeks you will not look back... I know it is exhausting. Good luck sweetie. Jen x

Jeni Yes I've called a couple of the breastfeeding helplines but whilst the advice is probably sound, it really isn't much use over the telephone. I think a visit would be far more beneficial but can't get anyone to come out. There is a support group that I can go along to on a Friday though - which is quite some time away! Got a number of another counsellor to ring later so hopefully may have better luck with that one! If not, got a visit from the midwife tomorrow so perhaps she may be able to help? x

Hi sarah Sounds like you've got some more great advice. I agree with all of it but just wanted to say that Charlotte still sounds like Jessica was in the evening and I too, got fed up of DH waking me at 10pm saying I hadn't expressed enough, it was torture and he always got it in the neck as he nervously cowered with jessica next to the bed where I had been peacefully sleeping!! Anyway, by 3/4 weeks I was dead on my feet and we devised a new plan which thank god worked.You may want to try something similar, I bf'd Jessica all day and evening then went to bed after her last evening feed, around 9pm. DH then gave her a bottle of formula at 11pm ish and she usually slept until 3am ish, this gradually got later and later and at around 9 weeks, Jessica slept until 6am - yeah!!!! I can't tell you how much it transformed my life (sounds dramatic but true) and it allowed me to get a good 6 hours sleep in one stretch but not compromise breastfeeding. There is a very long thread on this further down and several second time mums did the same thing, and it seemed to work for many of us. Also, just wanted to say that it does get easier but not until 3/4 weeks when things settle down. I agree re the breastfeeding support, I think you need to get "real person" advice as opposed to phone advice when you're dealing with more than one issue as over the phone was fine for me but then I lost all confidence by the next few days and wanted to check again! It was better for me to phone the health visitor/see them at clinic etc. You're doing brilliantly. Jo

Thanks Jo. I think we've started doing something similar to you over the past couple of nights. DH is now giving Charlotte a formula feed at 10pm and I'm going to bed after her bedtime 7pm feed. However, he is still having problems settling her and at 12.45am last night I was fed up of hearing her crying and him pacing up and down and trying to put her a dummy in her mouth. So I got up and gave her a breast feed. It lasted 25 mins and was enough to settle her. I then had no problem popping her into her moses basket and she slept through until 5am this morning! I've just fed her again and she's napping at the moment although i can her stirring now! So we need to 'perfect' things slightly and I think I will try the formula feed tonight to see if it's just DH's approach! I also swaddle her whilst feeding and she settles well into her basket after a feed because she's nice and warm - he just puts her in and pops a blanket over her which I don't think she particularly likes. Will see what happens tonight! Thanks for all your help and advice girls - really appreciate it! x

Great to hear Sarah. Dh also had probs settling Jessica but this reduced after a week or so, I think she had lots of wind after the bottle and this didn't help. Jo

:update: Things just seem to be going from bad to worse and I'm ever closer to cracking and hitting the formula! Yesterday the MW came round and weighed Charlotte. To my dismay, she had only gained 1oz in four days so is still 4ozs off her birth weight. The MW was concerned about her poor weight gain so referred us to a feeding specialist at the hospital yesterday afternoon. The Feeding Specialist was concerned about the varying advice I'd been given and recommended that we revert back to baby-led feeding. She helped with my latch and position on my sore side which did help, but there is still a pinch there which we weren't able to resolve. The MW is coming back on Friday to re-weigh and I need to advise the Feeding Specialist of the outcome and if there's no improvement she will see us again. So last night and in the early hours this morning I have been in tears as I'm absolutely shattered. Charlotte fed at 6.45pm on our return from hospital and finished at 10pm!!! She slept until 11pm and then off we went again - until 11.30pm. She dozed off until 12am and then back on the breast until 12.30am. Another snooze until 1am and then she fed again until 1.45am. At this point I rang the hospital's 24 hour feeding advice line because I was at my wits end. They suggested DH settled her into her basket as she could probably smell my milk - he managed to do so but only with a dummy for assistance! So finally settled at 2am and then slept until 3.30am. Fed again until 4am and then she slept until 8am this morning. Fed again at 8am until 8.45am, slept until 9.30am and has just finished again - currently dozing. The reason my community MW advised against demand led feeding was because of exhaustion and it was the main reason why so many women gave up in the early days but the breast-feeding professionals advise that it's the only way to go. So now I'm torn as to what to do. Charlotte was screaming the house down throughout the night and morning, waking DH and eldest DD. DH has gone off to work not a happy bunny! Family are 'encouraging' me to switch to formula for my own sanity and well-being but I'm relucantant to give up on BF but at the same time I do feel as if I need to do something because of the chaos and disruption that is being inflicted on the household. Formula feeding isn't necessarily the answer to that I know, but hopefully it may help her weight gain. I really don't know what to do but I don't think I can cope with another 2-3 weeks of constant night time feeding. How did others cope?? Feeding Specialist said it will get better within 4-6 weeks and she will be feeding far more efficiently - but what do I do in the meantime? If she was an only child it would be far easier. No point to this post really - just feeling really stressed out and knackered!!