hey guys, well today is day 17 of down regulation, and it ok. Hot flushes? Check! Spent last night freezing dh in car. Hmm slightly pleased if i suffering so should he (could this mood be down to drugs hmmm check!) lol headache? check (top tip for share dealers buy in paracetamol based products i am boosting this industry single handedly!) Moods? Check! Cried cos i dropped rice. (sharedelaers tissue market should be good too!) Humour? Check! Always need that always will. Hope you all having good weekend. :babydust: to everyone xx

Hi, Day 22- Feeling quiet good, headache there but not bad. Been clinic and yay I am now on half my buserilin drug and they put me on Estradiol (HRT), which should mean i feel tonnes better soon!!! This drug will hopefully make lining nice and good in which an Embie would like to live. Am having mad thoughts at moment that this little pill i swallowing is a little interior designer and in there renovating me! lol I go back for another scan on 21st. Am excited that this time next month my dreams could have come true. Am also scared that it won't work and that frightens me so much after all these months of needles. But I do feel positive and hoping that the interour designer does a cracking job and am praying that this christmas will be alcohol free!!!! love and :babydust: larmi xxx

Ooooooh, good luck to you Larmi. I really hope this works for you. Keep posting and let us know how you're getting on, Lisa xx P.S. I bet your interior designer is doing a fantastic job!!

:goodluck: Larmi, Have everything crossed for you. Kerryx

Best of luck Larmi xx

:update: Day 26- Hi, Well Big :happyspin: I have not had headache for two days which is wonderful. My dose of Buserlin is now ony 2.5 and HRT is helping. I am increasing tomorrow up to 2 tablets a day of the hrt so should be well up and better soon. DH is being perfect at moment (or does it just tie in with my moody drug being decreased?) He wants to go away for a week in 2 ww to take my mind off it...... which is lovely and i sure it won't take my mind off it, but will be lovely to be with him and be relaxing. Interior Designer has been working for 5 days now. It seems to like me to eat a lot! So hoping this is converting into a lovely renovation. Fingers crossed next week renovation perfect for my little embie. I in a big quandry now though and think i really got to speak to my nurse next week. Originally when i was going to have fresh transfer I was going to have one blastocyst, well cos of OHSS all 9 embies was frozen. Now when they thaw out and hopefully at least one divides into more cells i thinking should i have two placed back in? It just i thinking if I have two placed in it doubling my chance however also increases likelyhood of multiple pregnancy which my dr's really don't want to happen. However if say two divide and only put one back in and it doesn't work am I always going to wonder? Plus this time pct funded me, if this fails I got to pay privately and that is my last shot. Plus I not sure if i can cope going all through the down regulation again,this been going on since may now. I hear about people who go 4-5 times before getting a positive and i think wow that poor woman. I know that if dh wanted to keep trying i would do it, but i just think is it really been worth 5 months of drugs to put one in, when i could have two? I could cope with twins i am very supported by family, okay initially would be hard for me health wise in pregnancy but then I would only have to go through this once....... I going to stop i rambling to no conclusion a v confused larmi xx

:update: Day 36. Tomorrow is day of appointment where another scan hoping they will tell me a date for E/T hoping thurs or fri. I feel a wreck today. I haven't slept right in ages and last night was the worst. I really getting anxious not sure if this is the medicine, or just me. Friday night i was driving and completely freaked out, was so scared which is unlike me. DH took over. Today I just feel so tired and shakey. I thought that by this stage i would be jumping up and down in excitement but all i feel is nerves. I been waiting since may now to get this far and now i frightened. If they say this week it means my embies come back out and have to be de-frosted which some can die through this process. I scared they all will and i be starting this all over again. I still unsure if i should stick with 1 being transferred in or should i up the chance to 2? lol no wonder i not sleeping i just read that back. It does help writing on here though as it helps organise my thoughts. Interoir designer hopefully been doing a good job i get to see scan pics tomorrow to check progress. Fingers crossed they done good job. I off now to have a hrt tablet again and then bathe in lavendar to relax. Hope everyone ok and :babydust: to all larmi xxx p.s oh my god how bad will my 2 ww be? apologies in advance xx

:update: Day 37 Just back from scan, lining nicely defined so interior decorator doing good job. Lining only 6mm though which they said is where they thought it would be. So no E/T this week, have another scan on friday and hopefully wwill be booked in for e/tnext week. x

All sounds positive Larmi, understandable you will be anxious about all this but the end result will hopefully be worth it. Lots of luck for next week :-)

Day 39 Thanks Beccy for luck. Today all is swell i mean well. Although my mother managed to helpfully tell me this medicine makes me look pregnant last night. Said if she didn't know what i was going through she would swear i was pregnant now. Cos of the swelling on stomach and my chest is growing... which is very bizzar. My body playing a game of bullseye if you know what i mean, how they used to say "this is what you could have had...." hoping it more of a preview and i know what i playing for. Scan tomorrow whoop whoop, hmm i sure if i broke my wrist now i'd go into x-ray and strip blow waist iykwim? Hoping interior decorator plumped the cushions for us tomorrow and it systems go. :goodluck: and :babydust: to all xxx

:update: Day 40. Well had my scan and :cheerleader: the lining is thick. :but: my lining to immature. So gutted I have a thick immature lining so now I have got to have HRT patches on thigh as well as the HRT tablets 3 times a day and injection............ re-scan back on monday and hopefully i will be mature then. Now i on the patches if i do get pregnant I will have to have these patches on for 3 months....... hmm guess if it works baby will be call patch. Oh well looks like that interior decorator just did everything too new and fresh...... hopefully patch will go in and give it the lived in look now. love and :babydust: larmi xxx

Bloody hell Larmi - this really is a journey! I am following with interest in readiness for when we start but it seems sooooooooo hard! I really admire you and how you've stayed strong throughout. Am really keeping everything crossed for you. :goodluck: Minni x

Yes it's so gripping to read - all the best xx

WOW Larmi, What a journey so far, and well done you for getting this far! Wanted to wish you all the luck in the world, and hope it all works for you HUGS xxxx