Egg sharing - your opinion?
Egg sharing is a way of getting a reduced cost IVF whilst at the same time helping other people conceive when they don't produce their own eggs. This is something that DH and I are currently thinking about - not so much because of the money although naturally at £3,000 a pop, its worth considering, but mainly because I like the thought of helping other ladies to have a much longed for child in the face of adversity - particularly after the fertility hell we've been through personally. Some ladies are unable to produce their own eggs due to early menopause or previous chemotherapy. I just wondered what everyone's thoughts were on this? Apparently the guidelines state that no more than 10 children can be born of your eggs to other people (half of the eggs collected are donated during an egg sharing IVF attempt and you can have up to 3 goes I believe), but this potentially means that there could be 10 little people all walking around with half of your DNA - some of which may want to contact you or find out more about you later in life, particularly with the changes in the anonymity laws since 2005. So what are your thoughts? Would be interested in peoples opinion since its something that we are considering at the moment. xxxxxxxxx

Ooo erm, i don't know to be honest, I think it is fab that women can help others concieve the child they have longed for and are unable to concieve naturally themselves!!! However the idea of having a child out there with your DNA kind of freaks me out a bit, a bit like adoption without going through the pg etc!!!!... (not that I am against adoption or anything!!!) I don't know but would love to know what others think!!!!

I think I would do it for one of my sisters, but would struggle otherwise for the reasons mentioned above. I also think its great that there are women out there who donate eggs - I'm just not sure I could be one of them.

hmmm now I have thought about this - or at least spared some thoughts on it when I heard it in the news. I think it's a wonderful idea that someone can help someone else in their quest for a family HOWEVER I am now slightly dubious about the lack of anonimity (sp?!? you know what i mean). I think it's great that you are willing to help someone but i find it odd that as part of a gift you may end up being contacted in 18 years... It's a toughie but I applaud you for taking it seriously and wish you all the luck in the world :-)

Hi Raq, I'm not sure about it really, but I just wanted to say that a family friend of ours went down this route, the 1st time it didn't work, and I must admit she was a bit down for a while thinking what if the other woman was pregnant. Second time it worked and she in now due in September. Personally I don't think it would be an option for me

Its a concept that I have battled with today to be honest. We've been through so much hell as a couple that the more I think about it the more I want to donate eggs to other people to allow them to have a chance that they may never have otherwise had. I don't know that I will be suitable yet - you need to have certain blood levels and I may not fall within the guidelines. One interesting thing I just found on another website was this: The Human Fertilisation & Embryology Authority (HFEA) is required by law to keep, on its register, information about individuals who donate gametes (eggs or sperm) and patients who receive this treatment. When they reach the age of 18, any resulting children can apply for non-identifying information about the donor, e.g. ethnic background, eye colour, hair colour, build and height. You will be asked to complete the HFEA registration form at the time of your consultation with a nurse co-ordinator. The form allows you to give details of your occupation and interests, if you so wish. Information held on the register will be kept strictly confidential and may be disclosed by the HFEA only in the specific circumstances permitted by law. This doesn't sound too bad - particularly as I was thinking that in 18 years time I may end up with 10 eighteen year olds on the doorstep wanting backdated pockey money lol. Well not quite but you know what I mean. I was talking about it with my DH tonight and telling him I found it hard to get my head around having some mini-me's running around to different parents but with half my DNA - I can't remember exactly what he said but he pointed out that its not as if we would have given the baby up for adoption to have them come back to find us. Instead we would giving incomplete cells for someone else to make their own. He worded it much better and it really put my mind at rest. I guess I just really want to help others in worse situations than I'm in. Having said that, its not 100% altruistic since the cost of our IVF would be drastically reduced. We always said that when the time came, we would only try IVF once before moving onto adoption - we don't want to spend oodles and oodles of cash (even though a baby would be worth all the money in the world and back again!) if its not destined to work for us. I know people who have thrown money at IVF hand over fist and never been successful and its almost destroyed them. If we go for egg sharing, we can then give the whole process an extra go at full cost to us, in effect getting two go's for the price of one and helping other people to boot. Does that make sense?? Ah well, I know what I mean! lol. We may not be suitable candidates yet so this may all be speculation.................. Food for thought though and its very interesting reading everyones thoughts so thanks for that xxxxxxxxxxxx

personally I would happily donate my eggs. The reality, of course, is that they wouldn't want them because (at 40) I'm too old! I don't think I would ever think of a baby born through my egg donation as being 'my child' - another woman would have carried it, nurtured it in her womb and been through the birth process. I think it takes more than biology and genetics to make a child. As a means to an end - ie helping others and reducing the cost of your own treatment, then I would say it is worth doing. I hate the way the government has changed the law recently - it's done the fertility business no end of harm - as there is now a chronic short of sperm and egg donors because they all fear being tracked down in the future.

Absolutely!! Ditto what Lois said (sorry to be lazy, but you worded it so well, and is exactly the points I'd have mentioned)

I would love to donate an egg to someone who could not have a baby otherwise. I think giving someone the chance to have a child is the biggest gift ever and I will (and have been recently) seriously consider it. I would be a little worried about the law change but feel that once that egg has left my body it is no longer mine, it will grow in another person and will be fertilised by another womans DH/OH, it would not bother me although someone tracking me down in 18yrs time might!

Being lazy too, I think exactly what Lois said! I was slightly concerned about it would do if your biological children somehow met another of your children and then had kids but the register made it seem more unlikely and truthfully, with the amount of teenage pregnancies and kids born with a 'not known' in the father box, those risks are there anyway and are really very small. My sister in law gave eggs to her best friend who went through the menopause at 19 and they have since had 2 children with her eggs and the husbands sperm. They are not even vaguely my neice and nephew in my mind, just friends' children.

Having briefly considered this in the past (briefly because we soon realised I was too old to be considered) I wholeheartedly agree with Lois and think it's a wonderful idea - what better gift can you give someone who is unable otherwise to have their own child? The downside, like someone else said is that someone else might be successful with your eggs while you're not - but as it doesn't decrease your own chances it's just one of those things. I would have gladly given my eggs away if it meant we had more opportunities to conceive ourselves....afterall, who needs 1000s of them? Just one or two will do for most of us!

Hi Raq I think that donating eggs is something I hope to do after we have completed our family. I have considered the fact that I may be tracked down in 18 years time but I ask myself would that be so bad? The child would (more than likely) have their own loving and nuturing family who went through so much to have them. I think it would be an amazing feeling to have helped someone have the love and happiness I have with Millie and also knowing there are other 'lives' in the world that I had helped create. Further, if it helps you achieve your dreams quicker and more cheaply (as IVF is so expensive) then I would say go for it! Wishing you all the luck in the world xxx

Hi Raq. this is something I have often thought about...my best friend has been ttc now for a very long time..years...and i have often spoken to my dh about how if the time came and she had to have ivf etc would i be happy to donate an egg...i couldnt donate an egg directly to her which she fully understands..but the thought of giving an egg to someone else which wold then put her at the top of the ivf list really had me thinking. After LOTS of chats with my husband I have decided..quite honestly i really couldnt do it..i was all up for it but dh made me see all the bad point.IKNOW it sounds really selfish as i have children and it would be sooo lovely to hep other people..but dh told me to look at our girls and imagine that some where out there there could be half brothers or sisters of theirs running about that are like them..children of mine that would not know their mummy ...biological mummy..I know this is really harsh and prob way to easy for me to say as i have children and i would probably feel very different if i had none...sorry this has turned in to a ramble..but its actually something i find veryinteresting to talk about! Basically I put my hand up and say personally i couldnt do it but i give a MASSIVE pat on the back to those who do and could...welldone. Raq I hope whatever you doin the long run you have a happy healthy family. xxx